1. Shock value: People are so surprised that you're finally doing it at last that everyone shows up and makes a much bigger deal about your wedding. Long-forgotten acquaintances and distant relatives you didn't even invite send cards, checks, and crystal vases.

2. No midlife marriage crisis: You're already in midlife! You never thought it would happen, so you are filled with glee, grace, and gratitude. If you're lucky, by the time the novelty wears off, you're dead.

3. Moneybags: In middle age, your midriff has grown but so has your bank account. Nothing jump-starts a new life together like two bathrooms, enough closet space, and the occasional first-class hotel on an expense account. Teenagers often think sleeping on the floor of a dirty hostel is romantic. As a middle ager, five-star hotels are usually much more of an aphrodisiac. Don't underestimate the benefits of physical comfort.

4. Swinging single: Remember all the illusions about the glamorous time you would have alone? Well, you played it out. Being a slob, wearing sweatpants all day, eating cold pizza for breakfast, and not answering to anyone pales beside having a built-in warm body for a Saturday-night movie date.

5. Hope chest: All your competitive and unmarried friends in their forties, fifties, and sixties flock around, buoyed by your sudden switch in marital status. They say things like, "You were the last person I ever thought I would see walk down the aisle," and, "If you could do it, anybody can." Take it as a compliment and talk often and openly about how wonderful it is to find love a little on the later side. It's nice to give others inspiration!

6. Fountain of youth: When reminiscing with your partner, you can exaggerate or have selective memories about your youthful days -- since they were so long before you met. "I was so skinny in college," "I used to dress much more provocatively," or "I was so much more popular with the opposite sex back then," adds to the myth and the mystery. Thank goodness all your lovely but loser exes are locked away in photograph albums.

7. You are secure with your insecurities: You've been there, done that, and screwed it up so many times that you don't even have to bother hiding your sordid fears. At a certain age, jealousy and vanity actually seem cute.

8. Technophilia: Combining long lives usually involves upgrading technology, since chances are one of you has already acquired a decent CD player, television, DVD player, fax, laptop, laser printer, iPod, cell phone, BlackBerry, TiVo, and top-of-the-line blow dryer.

9. Therapy pays off: All that time and money spent on psychoanalysis, Alcoholics Anonymous, transactional analysis, est, and Gestalt, watching Oprah and Dr. Phil, and taking yoga, Pilates, and meditation classes has clearly sunk into your system. When steamed or upset, you now know how to say, "I think I'll go take a walk to cool off, so I don't kill you," "Perhaps we shouldn't bring seven years of hostility into an argument about a toaster oven," or "I'm going to make a shrink appointment now."

10. War stories: You've been around the block. Did it in an elevator. A plane bathroom. The beach. This lead to a sprained ankle, angry passengers hoping up and down, and sand in your shoes for six months after the passion ended. You've finally learned it's much more comfortable with someone you love. In a bed. Lying down.

Tired of wasting your time with dates that go nowhere? Here are some warning signs.

He's Late

This one is pretty basic. If a guy doesn't have enough enthusiasm for the date to actually show up on time, you shouldn't expect to be impressed by the rest of the night. Obviously, there are times when you just can't help it, but he'd better have a good reason if he shows up at your door even 15 minutes late.

He's Not Dressed to Impress

You've spent hours on your hair and a pile of rejected clothes covers your bed. You are finally dressed to the nines in the perfect outfit and ready for the evening. You open the door and are surprised to be greeted by your date in torn jeans and a stained t-shirt. You doubt he's washed his hair today (or yesterday). You expected a nice night out and he shows up looking like he's dressed for a monster truck rally.

He Takes you to a Monster Truck Rally

Original and unique first dates are a great way to stand out from the rest of the fish in the sea, but there are exceptions. He should at least do a little research into your style before he plans an unusual activity. Sure, he might really love hot dogs and monster trucks, but if you were thinking fine dining and theatre, there's bound to be trouble.

The fact that he didn't bother to ask your opinion beforehand (or at least get the matchmaker's thoughts on the plan) doesn't bode well for how he's going to respect your needs and wants in the future.

He Expects You to Pay

It's not absolutely necessary that he pick up the check. Along with all those useful freedoms like voting, the feminist movement also brought us the responsibility of at least offering to pay for half the date. Most guys still think it's chivalrous to pick up the tab for the first date and there's nothing wrong with indulging his male ego (after an appropriate amount of protesting of course).

No girl is expecting a man to drop a fortune on a first date, but a guy who expects you to pay for everything without lifting a finger to open his own wallet doesn't give off the impression that he cares much what you think of him. In fact, he probably won't see a second date (and maybe not even the end of the first one). A good rule of thumb for payment is: whoever asks for the date, pays for the date.

He Talks About his Ex

So maybe you escaped the monster truck rally, but instead of choking on exhaust fumes and standing in a sea of drunken mullets, you get to hear all about his wonderful or horrible ex-girlfriend. Bonus trouble points if he had a nasty breakup and insists on sharing the details with you.

If he refers to his ex even once with a derogatory insult that you wouldn't call your worst enemy, run for the hills now. It's not a good sign if he can't say anything nice about the last woman with whom he had a significant relationship.

How Can I Put This.? He's a Weirdo.

Yes, it's time to weed out those with personal quirks that you find distasteful or generally unacceptable. This will be different for every woman of course (some chicks really dig witchcraft, guys that live with their moms or Dungeons and Dragons enthusiasts). Regardless, that tight knot that is forming in your stomach while you listen to his ideas, habits and activities, should not be ignored.

Awkward Moments vs. Awkward Hours

When he's not filling you in on his wacky life, the conversation stalls into silence or unintelligible grunting. It's normal to have a little awkwardness or difficulty getting conversation to flow in the beginning of a first date, but if after a few minutes, he still can't think of a single question to ask about your life or keep up with the conversation, it's time to call it a night.

If it's twenty minutes in and you've run out of things to talk about, you probably don't have much of a future together.

We all have moments of weakness, willful blindness and strenuous denial. The key is to assess and address problems quickly with a mind to cutting short the agony and moving onto greener pastures. Don't get caught latched to a loser. Check out this list of dating dud giveaways.

Your Friends Still Treat You as Single

Not all of us have that one friend in our posse who speaks out and tells the blatant truth, even if unasked, about our choice of lover. To avoid hurting fragile feelings or running the risk of being pushed away should the relationship get more serious, most people sugarcoat their message with subtle hints. If your friends have tried to set you up on dates with other people even though it's obvious you're already taken, read between the lines and know your friends think you could do better.

Their Friends Give You the Heebie-Jeebies

Would you reach into a bowl of rotten apples in the hopes that there was one on the bottom that still might be good to eat? Yeah, I thought not. So what makes you think that your lover is any less loser-ish than his or her oddball, annoying amigos? If you wouldn't dare set up your own pal with one of theirs, what makes you think that your catch is really all that?

You're Invisible in Public

There's something to be said for a guy or girl who has a unique sense of style. I mean, thankfully most of us have moved on from our "dress like everyone else in homeroom" tween days. But there's a fine line between being a quirky cutie and being a fashion freak. If it feels like you're invisible to strangers because all passing eyes are taking in the style-free spectacle that is your walking companion, you may be dating a dud. Or at the very least, a perennial fashion risk.

Their Love Is Spoiling the Mood

Who's kidding whom? We all love to be pampered once in a while. But "once in a while" are the key words in that phrase. If we were doted on all the time, we wouldn't ever appreciate the efforts. More importantly, if someone is constantly spoiling us, there's no chase in the relationship, and no chase means no balance. Strange as it is, when someone adores us to the point of smothering, we can't help but wonder, 'What's wrong with them that they can't get enough of me?' If you always seem to be playing master to their slave, you may have a loser in your lair.

You're Their First In More Ways Than One

If -- when you two eventually have that talk about all your exes and past partners -- you discover that they've never actually dated anyone for a significant period of time before, little red flags should appear. The big question, of course, is, 'Why the heck not?' Was that state of solitude by choice or did no one find them date-worthy for decades? Perhaps you need to ask yourself why so many other lovers passed over this "catch?" Being someone's first relationship can be rewarding in many ways, but there are definite downfalls related to a lack of experience, and no-one wants to add loser lust to their list of love accomplishments.

You're Their Only Hobby

Maybe you have a passion for semi-useless appliances purchased from late-night paid television programs (who couldn't use a Flowbee?) or perhaps you've got a collection of eclectic salt and pepper shakers that threatens to take over your living room. It doesn't matter what the hobby -- at least you've got one. Does your guy or girl have any interests other than in being with you night and day? Everybody needs diversity in their day-to-day life. If you're starting to feel like somebody's one and only pastime, best to cut that loser loose.

It used to be easy. Men paid and women said thank you. Men also wore hats, and women wore gloves and chiffon scarves. But the rules aren't so clear anymore, and men and women are often confused by the etiquette of dating and money. It's more than who pays and how much. The way you deal with money can reveal who you are and how you feel about the person you are with. Money represents another form of intimacy, and you have to be aware of that. And like that other, more popular form of intimacy -- S-E-X -- you need to know the rules for dating are not the same as those for a bona fide couple.
- Don't forget your wallet. In the beginning, unless your date expressly asks to go Dutch (this does not mean wooden shoes and funny hats), assume that you are paying. It may seem old-fashioned, and maybe one day it will change, but at this point that's the rule.

- Don't get carried away. Generosity is appealing, but don't overextend yourself. Stay within your comfort zone. If you keep spending beyond your means, she'll assume those are your means, then you'll resent her and she'll have no idea why.

- Don't be chauvinist. If your girlfriend wants to take you out, be gracious. Don't insist on paying for cotton candy, tattoos, circus tickets, [insert expenditure here]. You want to be modern but chivalrous.

- Don't be cheap. Never, ever itemize the bill. If it matters to you that her tofu fajitas cost two dollars more than your chicken parmesan, you should have stayed home.

- Don't expect something for your money. It's not quid pro quo. Buy her dinner when you want to buy her dinner, not when you want a b--w j-b. (Fellatio for fettuccine is an insult to you both.)

- Don't stiff the waiter. If you see your date giving the waiter an "I'm sorry" look, you're not tipping enough. A minimum of fifteen percent is standard, and you should factor that in to the price of the evening.

- Don't use coupons. Honestly, do you really need that free beverage or complimentary entrée of greater or lesser value?

A Woman with a Passion in Something Other Than Him

Many men say they like a woman who's immersed in something else other than the relationship -- be it her work, or her sport, or whatever her "thing" is. Why? The passion she shows for something else confirms her inherent goodness, her personal drive, her independence. All pluses in the woman we're hoping to spend a few decades with.

A Woman with No Problem with Guy Time

Men love, appreciate, and are thankful for women who respect and endorse (and not complain about) his need to have a few testosterone mixers. Don't worry, March Madness will be over in just a few weeks!

A Woman with a Strut

Her strut in the bar may have been part of his initial attraction. The strut from the bedroom to the bathroom after the first night together may have been pure visual ecstasy. But the strut that happens day in and day out is one of the major attractors for a man. Men want to be with women who challenge them, who push them, and who take the lead some of the times. And that's as true in the bedroom as it is in planning their next weekend getaway. T

A Woman with a Good Taste in Ties

Every relationship is a give and take, and guys will definitely take women who can warn us when our new soul patch looks stupid, who can guide us to the perfect suit and shirt combo for an upcoming job interview, who can help them make decisions without being harsh or judgmental. Guys like to project that they know what they're doing and that they don't need any help. Women who can help steer us, without aggressively grabbing the wheel, are the most treasured copilots.